I always thought Kobe’s nickname, “the Black Mamba”, was poorly chosen. OK, so “it’s known for being very aggressive when disturbed or confronted and will not hesitate to strike with deadly precision”. But doesn’t that fact that almost nobody knows this without you telling them kill the nickname’s effectiveness? And the damn snake isn’t even black!
Why not “the Closer”?
Well, I think I may have been wrong all along. Footage I found from game 1 of the Finals seems to show there might have been a good reason for the nickname all along:
Got a nice “Tuesday Night with NBAtv” tripleheader for you. First, we get to see why Gary Payton and Chris Webber didn’t join Shaq on stage with the Jabbawockeez:
Next, Shaq has a special request for Payton and Webber; give him a reprise of the Planet Rock beatbox. Shaq goes to town from there:
And finally a short but sweet version of “What The Hell Did Gary Payton Just Say?”, with Ahmad and Webber getting an assist:
Someday NBAtv will start broadcasting in HD, and my Tuesday nights will be perfect.
Oh for the good ole days. The NBA on CBS. The montages set to techno-jazz music overlaid with Dick Stockton’s classic, never and always dated delivery. How I miss it.
I recently found a 1986 All Star Game preview in my collection. It had everything you’d imagine: Bad basketball card simulations, bad music, and wall to wall slo-mo - over which Stockton laid his poetic and only occasionally insightful narration.
I was just about to post that video, when I began to think about how much I’d love to have Dick Stockton and his old crew make a version for the 2009 All Star game. Same music, same cheese, same 1980’s “NBA on CBS” goodness. Well, wouldn’t you know I found a way to get access to the old crew!
So if you’ve grown tired of the slick production of today’s NBA and would like to take a 2 minute trip back in time, here’s Dick Stockton with your 2009 NBA All Stars…
Tomorrow I’ll post the actual 1986 version. Enjoy.
The preamble: I love NBAtv. Hours and hours of people that know something about basketball sifting through the nightly highlights. And when the show’s over, it loops! Every Tuesday Ahmad Rashad, Chris Webber and Gary Payton host the show. It’s not exactly like you’ve joined them at Ahmad’s house to watch a game; but the only difference is they’d be dressed in sweats and not suits. Other than that, it’s exactly the same. It’s another Festivus miracle!
**If you haven’t already, watch the first episode of “What The Hell Did Gary Payton Just Say?” HERE. It has the full explanation of the game.
Alonzo Mourning sat in for Webber this week, and the look on his face as Payton is being driven mad my Ahmad is priceless.
And don’t think I’m going to miss another opportunity to show the sweetest Draft Day card you’ll ever see:
The combo of the look, the suit, and the green phone is all Payton baby (did I mention the phone?). And as unique as he is in the studio, he was just as unique on the floor. An incredible combo of skills on both ends. He is the only point guard ever to win defensive player of the year. How amazing is that fact? Here are the names from the past 20 years of DPOY: Cooper, Jordan, Eaton, Rodman, Robinson, Olajuwon, Mutombo, Mourning, Wallace, Artest, Camby, Garnett AND… Payton.
There are two short clips this week, so let’s play:
**Edit: A viewer has discovered that it’s even funnier the 2nd time if you listen but don’t watch. Damn if he isn’t right.
“Join us next Wednesday at Didn’t Draw Iron for another episode of…. ‘What the Hell did Gary Payton Just Say?’”!
Said it before and I’ll say it again: I love NBAtv. Hours and hours of people that know something about basketball sifting through the nightly highlights. And when the show’s over, it loops!
Every Tuesday Ahmad Rashad, Chris Webber and Gary Payton host the show. It’s not exactly like you’ve joined them at Ahmad’s house to watch a game; but the only difference is they’d be dressed in sweats and not suits. Other than that, it’s exactly the same. It’s another Festivus miracle!
Webber and Payton are working so well together that they used them to fill in for Charles Barkley last week on Inside the NBA. They did a great job of infusing some life into a show that’s been getting a bit stale. Less and less basketball was being talked about each week, but Webber loves to talk hoops and he does it well. Payton loves to talk too (no secret here). He’s a perfect sidekick - opinionated, has an ego but doesn’t try to hide it, and isn’t afraid to offend. Plus, he’s got the sweetest Draft Day card you’ll ever see:
The combo of the look, the suit, and the green phone is all Payton baby (did I mention the phone?). And as unique as he is in the studio, he was just as unique on the floor. An incredible combo of skills on both ends. He is the only point guard ever to win defensive player of the year. How amazing is that fact? Here are the names from the past 20 years of DPOY: Cooper, Jordan, Eaton, Rodman, Robinson, Olajuwon, Mutombo, Mourning, Wallace, Artest, Camby, Garnett AND… Payton.
Given my love of the show, I thought I’d let you in on a fun little game I play every Tuesday night in my living room. It’s called “What the hell did Gary Payton just say?”, and he always gives me one good shot at playing it each week. Here’s this week’s episode:
**Edit: A viewer has discovered that it’s even funnier the 2nd time if you listen but don’t watch. Damn if he isn’t right.
“Join us next Wednesday at Didn’t Draw Iron for another episode of…. ‘What the Hell did Gary Payton Just Say?’”!
There has been a lot of discussion about whether or not Lebron traveled at the end of the Washington game when he performed what he called the “crab dribble”. The evidence has been inconclusive until now, but a new camera angle and step by step breakdown seem to prove LeBron was indeed correct. He didn’t travel…
I’m guessing this is going to find it’s way to the refs for their next training session, but who knows. David Stern can be hard headed (crab like in a way).
I love NBAtv. Watch it relentlessly despite the jeopardy it puts my marriage in.
Here’s an hilarious moment from December 12. Rick Kamla and Steve Smith were discussing the troubles the Pistons are having since acquiring Allen Iverson. Kamla starts to ask Smith if he thinks Iverson would accept a bench role. As he does, they cut live to the Pistons game. The timing is perfect, and Steve Smith’s reaction is classic.
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